Talledega Dave "The Destroyer"

You can get your own race car driver name on the Talledega Nights wepage.

Another reason Edmonton sucks

They are stripping previously named local hockey arenas of their names (named after Troy Murray and Mark Messier), which is shitty enough, but they were kind enough to suggest that the honourees may want to pay the freight of keeping the names.

No wonder Pronger left.

Dog that takes itself to the pub (on a No 10 bus)

I love it.

Jessica Simpson's dad is creepy

I read the headline this morning that Jessica's mom thinks sexy pictures of her daughter are over the top and go too far.

Before I even read the article I thought to myself that it would be funny to say that her creepy dad was just fine with them. Then I read the article and it turns out that this is what the story is about -- daddy likes the pics.

Okay, guys like pretty girls in bathing suits, myself included. But you are not supposed to promote your own daughter's sexyness. It's called pimping you idiot.

Here's what daddy Joe had to say about his little girl:

“She just is sexy,” Joe Simpson once said. “If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she's sexy in both. She's got double Ds! You can't cover those suckers up!”

Too bad she can't cover up the third "sucker" in her life.

My kind of racing

This is what happens when you fuck with a Canadian. We are reared in hockey, not like Tracey's colleagues who grew up playing games like soccer, cricket, etc.

Check out the series of photos showing Tracey slugging Tagliani.

Paris gets Prude

This is just wrong. The French don't have much over the rest of the world, but nudity at their beaches was one thing you could count on.

Although, I do have to admit that when I was last in the south of France laying on a beach (fully clothed so as not to cause too much of a ruckus amongst the local ladies) I learned that with nudity, you take the good with the bad. For every svelt french beauty there was an ungly step-sister in tow carrying her bathing suit in one hand and her breasts in the other!

NASCAR for Dummies

Yes, believe it or not, there actually is a book with this name from the Dummies series. I remember the first time I saw it I thought to myself, "yeah, no kidding, I thought that is what NASCAR was -- for Dummies."

Anyway, Will Farrell is coming out with Talladega Nights, his new satire of NASCAR and the NASCAR lifestyle. Here is a funny interview with Farrell, in which he takes the mick out of NASCAR on their own website. I wonder if they know that the joke is on them?

The Passion of the Drunk

Mel gibson is right, his life is fucked.

God Bless the Fat Fuck

John Travolta is Stayin' Alive but he's packing on the pounds.

Sadly, he is still at least 20 pounds lighter than this fat fucker!

This is Pathetic

I don't know how it is that this is the first I have heard of this story, but it is hard to believe in this day and age. A black man is refused service for . . . . you guessed it, being black. Welcome to Canada, home of multiculturalism.

I understand to some degree the bar owner's concern over past problems with patrons, but I thought we were at the MLK stage where we judged each individual by the contect of their character, not the colour of their skin.

Interesting irony in that this comes out of the province where the french are always calling for equality and distinct status. Don't remember any stories about francophones being refused service, even though some francophones would like to split Canada in two.

Newsflash: Liberals are Dumb.

If there is one riding where the Liberals should be able to make some headway in what looks to be a drive toward a Harper majority it is in Vancouver-Kingsway where former Liberal and now Conservative cabinet minister David Emerson has some explaining to do.

But if you read this article, it looks like the Libs have some explaining of their own to do.

I'm Torn by Which Canadian Icon I Hate More

The other night, losers waiting to get in to see which fellow loser was going to move ahead in CTV's Canadian Idol got so loud that employees of the neighboring CBC called to make a noise complaint.

It sucks that CBC displayed such sour grapes. Sure their station sucks, and yes, if I was an employee over there I would be pissed that I was even working after 6 o'clock (isn't that one benefit of being a government employee?), but to complain about the noise, when you work for a company who broadcasts noise over the TV and radio as there stock in trade is a little hypocritical.

They should hire one of Trudeau's offspring (the acknowledged ones or even one of the unacknowledged ones) and start their own program. They could call it Canadian Idle, and try to find the Canadian who does as little as possible to contribute to society. Maybe I could compete.

Is Belinda Clinton's Marilyn?

Here's a news story on a big bash being planned to celebrate Bill Clinton's 60th birthday. It's being held in Toronto, which seems like sort of a strange place for an international man like Clinton, but one has to wonder whether his close friend Belinda Stronach is part of the party planning given their "friendship?"

I Call Bullshit

I have been reticent to tackle the middle east issues until now. Why? Frankly there is so much to discuss. But I did notice a few things over the last few weeks that I have been mentioning to friends, and now it looks like some of the media is beginning to clue in as well.

The first was this report on CNN. I was watching this while eating dinner with my wife and I said to her at the time, what the fuck is CNN doing? They have a Hezbollah PR guy showing them places that he himself has picked out. How do we even know that Hezbollah didn’t bomb the street that morning? Terrorists are not known to be the most up front and honest people to deal with.

Then there was the whole UN reaction to the Israeli bombing of a UN outpost. I was watching the reactions live as they came in and was saying to myself, no way. There is no fucking way that the Israeli’s intentionally bomb the UN. Kofi comes out, without any hesitation or qualification and denounces Israel. Then we find out that the Israeli’s actually warned the UN of the bombing (six times actually), and now we are being told that Hezbollah (you know, the same guys who are shocked at all of this) was using the outpost as a shield
I wouldn’t call myself pro-Israel, other than to say that it is my impression that they are usually the defender, not the aggressor, but why the fuck does CNN and the rest of the media give Hezbollah such a break?

Here is a great little primer on the “real” start of this whole thing from the Glenn Beck show: History of the Middle East: In a Couple of Minutes.

Future Cops

More evidence that former military make great cops after their time in the service.

A trip to Wallyworld?

When your real life mimics something in a Chevy Chase movie -- re-evaluate.


From National Lampoon's Summer Vacation:

Audrey, wake Aunt Edna. It's time
for her to eat and take her pill.



Please, get off of me!



Mom, tell Audrey to stop pushing
Aunt Edna on me.



I'm sick of her lying
on me all the time!



Be quiet!



Auntie?



Honey, it's only a few hours to Phoenix!
Let her be, she's fine!



She's not fine!



She's fine! Don't be silly!



She's not fine, Clark!



She's dead!



She breathed on me!
A dead person breathed on me!



Her hand touched me!
She's stiff already!



Goddamn it, anyway!



She must have passed away
somewhere near Flagstaff.



What are we going to do, Clark?



Well, we could leave her here...



...and the first phone we pass,
we'd call your cousin, Normie...



...and he can come and get her, I guess.



That's the meanest, coldest...



What do you want me to do,
call Federal Express?



Mom, we don't have to ride
with a dead person, do we?



Please say we don't!



Come on, Mom. It'd be real easy
for Cousin Normie to find her.



All he'd have to do is
look for the buzzards.



Hell! Then we'll drive her
to Cousin Normie's.



I just didn't want to get caught up in
a funeral, inquests and all that crap.

No to gay marriage

This is an interesting story about the court in New York finding against gay marriage.

Regardless of which side of this debate you are on, this ruling is interesting because of its legal perspective.

As opposed to Canadian courts, the court here simply said that the current legislative and constitutional structure did not provide for gay marriage. They didn't direct the legislature to do something about it, they just said that the issue is one to be dealt with in the legislative sphere.

If Sum 41 is Punk, Bolton is hard rock

Avril and her "punk" boyfriend are getting married. Congrats to them, but you know music has turned soft when Sum 41 is refered to as punk. I think the Sex Pistols, the Clash and SNFU may disagree.

Now that's a getaway

You have to admire this lady's style.

Reminds me of this joke as told in the movie Good Will Hunting:


Skylar and Will sit together along with Will's gang. The boys
are considerably drunk, but it makes for good entertainment.
Everyone here is having fun including Sylar.

MORGAN
Will, I can't believe you brought Skylar
here when we're all wrecked. What's
she gonna think about us?

WILL
Yeah, Morgan. It's a real rarity that
we'd be out drinkin'.

BILLY
I've been shit faced for like two weeks.

MORGAN
Oh great, tell her that! Now she really
thinks we're problem drinkers!

CHUCKIE
Two weeks? That's nothin'. My Uncle
Marty? Will knows him. That guy
fuckin' drinks like you've never seen!
One night he was drivin' back to his
house on I-93-- Statie pulls him over.

ALL
Oh shit.

CHUCKIE
Guy's tryin' to walk the line--but he
can't even fuckin' stand up, and so my
uncle's gonna spend a night in jail.
Just then there's this fuckin' BOOM
like fifty yards down the road. Some
guy's car hit a tree.

MORGAN
Some other guy?

CHUCKIE
Yeah, he was probably drunker than my
Uncle, who fuckin' knows? So the cop
goes "Stay here" And he goes runnin'
down the highway to deal with the other
crash. So, my Uncle Marty's standin'
on the side of the road for a little
while, and he's so fuckin' lit, that
he forgets what he's waitin' for. So
he goes, "Fuck it." He gets in his
car and drives home.

MORGAN
Holy shit.

CHUCKIE
So in the morning, there's a knock on
the door it's the Statie. So my Uncle's
like, "Is there a problem?" And the Statie's
like "I pulled you over and you took
off." And my Uncle's like "I never
seen you before in my life, I been
home all night with my kids." And
Statie's like "Let me get in your
garage!" So he's like "All right, fine."
He takes around the garage and opens
the door --and the Statie's cruiser is
in my Uncle's garage.

ALL
No way! You're kiddin'!

CHUCKIE
No, he was so hammered that he drove
the police cruiser home. Fuckin' lights
and everything!

MORGAN
Did your Uncle get arrested?

CHUCKIE
The fuckin' Trooper was so embarrassed
he didn't do anything. The fuckin'
guy had been drivin' around in my Uncle's
car all night lookin' for the house.

Because it's obviously not obvious to some

Liberal leadership wannabe and hero of the pre-teen set, Volpe, who you may remember best from his travails after receiving financial support from the children of one of his supporters, is now taking the high road and demanding that political donations from teenagers, children, infants, and toddlers be added to the new accountability act as non-viable sources of funding.

Just like a Liberal -- what seems obvious to most, must be legislated for a dumb Liberal.

Losers

Pissing on the memorial to the very thing that gives you the right to piss wherever you want. These guys are losers plain and simple.